You are a Mother of Preschoolers if.....

I read a blog today that gave a list of how you know when you have teenagers. It reminded me of my list I wrote a few years ago. While I may not have preschoolers anymore, it's still funny!

You Are A Mother of Preschoolers…..

By Holly Snow



• If you are sleep deprived
• If you have stickers and cheerios stuck to your socks
• If you have spit up, snot, or drool on your clothes
• If your shoes are older than your children
• If the idea of heaven on earth is a full night of uninterrupted sleep
• If you can cook dinner, do laundry, pick up toys, feed the dog, talk on the phone, with a child on your hip, all at the same time
• If your TV has been taken over by Disney channel, Nick Jr and Noggin.
• If you can’t sing a single Top 40 hit, but know all the words to Blues Clues
• If you can’t remember a single thing from Chemistry, but have Dr. Seuss’ ABC’s memorized
• If you can’t remember the last time you ate out without French fries
• If you have ever called everyone you know when your child did something new
• If you are missing a bottle or juice cup and are scared to find it
• If you go through a bottle a month of spray-n-wash
• If you ever bought a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, ran around the house cleaning walls, and truly believe it’s magic
• If you can’t remember the last time you bought yourself something pretty and not practical
• If your floor is booby trapped with legos, hot wheels, train tracks, barbies, or polly pockets
• If more people call you Mommy than your real name on most days
• If your cookie cutters, rolling pin and spatula are used more for play dough than cookies
• If you have ever driven aimlessly just so your child will sleep longer
• If your backseat has car seats full of cracker crumbs
• If you have more crayons on your floor than in the crayon box
• If you have to point out every farm animal, tractor or train while you are traveling
• If you feel like you deserve a gold metal for getting out of the house this morning with your hair done and makeup on
• If you are scared to look under your couch
• If you have ever locked yourself in the closet to talk on the phone
• If you have ever played hide and seek with your kids just to get a moment of silence
• If you stick your nose in your child’s bottom to tell if they are poopy
• If poopy and potty are in your everyday vocabulary
• If you go through the McDonalds drive thru more than you shave your legs
• If you speak of yourself in third person, ”Mommy got a boo boo.”
• If you have ever let your child talk to a telemarketer
• If your first response to any invitation is “Let me see if I can get a babysitter.”
• If you can’t remember the last time you went to Walmart without buying diapers
• If you are pregnant or have a potty training child, and must know where the restroom is everywhere you go
• If you just need a break, a friend, a snack, a cup of coffee, or just some time without screaming, squirming, slobbery children
• If you all the bandages in your house have cartoon characters on them